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I thought it would be helpful to those who are new to this to get an idea of what to expect in the healing process. There are three things that can’t be hidden, the sun, the moon, and the truth.
Above all else know that healing will take considerable time. But keep in mind always that wherever you are is exactly where you should be. The only thing that mattered was finding my way free from the abyss into which I was pushed. I tried romance, sex, long discussions, crying, pleading; I was “there” for her yet allowed her her space. She was responsive, answered all the questions, gave me tons of physical attention, but we were both in survival mode. I took a philosophical approach, a pragmatic outlook. As much as I hated the thought I simply had to allow the pain and anger to exist and run its course.
One of the first things I did after the news broke was to look up the 7 Stages of Grief (Shock, Denial, Bargaining, Guilt, Anger, Depression, and Acceptance.) I knew I was going to experience all of them, only I didn’t realize they repeat, overlap, gang up. Shock or The Honeymoon Phase: If you’re reading this then you won’t need to be told about the shock and pain that will engulf you when infidelity is revealed. She wasn’t being fully honest with me, or fully invested in our relationship. It took a while to learn, but I found it was ok to do that, to be angry, to feel pain. I had been deeply wounded and it had to heal in its own time.
And in the quiet moments fear and anger took over; the pain returned as full as ever. Bargaining or How To Be The Perfect Spouse: If I were better, stronger, smarter, taller, more handsome, successful, ambitious, if I had met her “needs,” then she would never have sought out another man. Since when is responsible for the happiness of another person?
Asked how long Belichick sent the money, she replied, “Well, it’s still going on.” She said she had no records to document the cash. Realty Trust’s corporate address uses the same post-office box, town and ZIP code as Belichick’s mailing address in Foxboro, Mass.And however hard you try to hold back, the slide in most cases is just too steep to resist.